Sensual Massage has a wide variety of connotations and can be different for different people. The number of definitions whether its as simple as a gentle back rub to your partner to genital rubs arousing stimulation is many.

Whether you have just started your relationship or have been for many years, sensual massage can easily make you and your partner open up and relax. However, for this the massage must use all the senses to give that tinglish feeling. Therefore, all the senses of sight, touch, smell, taste, sound can easily heighten the feeling that both would enjoy. It enhances the ability of the individuals to experience as well as give pleasure to their partners.

Julia Holdridge, CMT is a practicing Massage Therapist who specializes in Deep tissue, Swedish, sports, rehabilitation and myo-facial massage and is currently resident at Body Vibes. Her true love is sensual massage.

Here she is giving some pointers to make the sensual massage more enjoyable. ‘The Art of Sensual Massage’ by Julia Holdridge, CMT

Sensual massage is a very fulfilling, rewarding and a stimulating experience. It brings you and your partner together. With the quality and the intimate time they spend together, an erotic feeling is experienced. With it also comes the feeling of trust and confidence that is fostered between the partners. Therefore, when people think of a back rub as a sensual massage, it’s only a part of the story. In fact sensual massage is more than that. Hence, the level of sexuality that you experience during this time is entirely up to you.

Basics of Sensual Massage

The mood should be set right and for that there should be a veritable treat for all the five senses.

Stage I Play the right kind of music.
Music is a big mood alternator. Both partners must enjoy the right kind of music. One useful tip, play the CD which has hours of music loaded, after all you would not want to change the CD right at the opportune moment. Usually soft and relaxing music like jazz instrumental work up the right kind of music. However, if both partners are comfortable, techno rock music will wok just as well. It’s all about setting the right kind of atmosphere.

Stage II Turn the lights to the right level.
The sights definitely play on creating the atmosphere that you want. Obviously you would not be giving the massage under stark lights. Have dimmer lights, such that there is a soft glow in the room. Use scented candles as well. This helps to lighten the mood also. These candles come in all shapes size and you can even put some flowers, which will add color to the room

Stage III Cleanliness.
The point can’t be overemphasized. The sheets, pillow covers and generally the area where you are planning to give massage should be clean and also smelling fresh. Its gives a great impression and feels great to. In case you are planning give the massage in front of the fireplace, same rule applies here too.

Stage IV Bits & Bites
Tasty bites are a good mood enhancer too. Its important to have delicious finger licking small bits and bites. Like chocolates, strawberries, candy, champagne, caviar, wine and anything which would please your partner while been given a sensual massage

Stage V The massage oil.
Massage oil should be used in case you have. There are plenty of scented oils available in the market and you can pick and choose according to the preferences of your partner. Do keep the oil within easy reach when you start giving the massage.

Preparing for the massage
Sensual massage is all about setting the right mood, it’s as much a mind set as the actual physical part of it. It’s important that you start by getting clean. Taking a shower together not only cleans you of unwanted dirt but also arouses erotic feeling. By having a shower together, there is a romantic mood, which is set, however this is not absolutely necessary.

Start from the top as usual. Lather up with a lathering soap or you can use shower gels if you want. Use a loofah if you want to lather up really well. You can either face your partner or you can start from behind. Personally I like to face my partner while giving a massage.

Starting from the shoulder blades, gently and slowly (deliberately), work your way down. Reach for our partner’s chest, arms, torso, and legs. Turning him around, take your time and then wash his back, his buttocks and then his legs. The idea is to set the correct mood and there is no right way of doing this. The right way is the one, which arouses your partner.

The Massage

Please remember that you need to make your partner relax before you set the right mood for the massage. It’s better to start with a non-sexual area like the face, shoulder or the back. Skin is aroused best when light and long strokes are applied to it, so start by doing this. Caress each part of their body. The tips of the finger work just as well as the back of the hand. The idea here is to give a nice and warm feeling to your partner. And they will certainly enjoy this feeling.

Now when our partner is ready for a stronger touch, take some massage oil. Remember that it should be warm (not scalding hot) according to the preference of the partner. This warmed oil can be dribbled directly or taken in your hands and then rubbed into your partner’s skin. Start slowly and gently and progress to more vigorous strokes to suit your partner’s preferences.

After the body massage, they would be now ready to have other parts of their body massaged also. You should ideally gauge this, however some also prefer to say it out aloud. Some are ready after a minute and some may even take thirty minutes, its all a matter of the’ right timing’. Move down on their arms and forearms. The back as well as the palm of the hand work equally well. Massage their hands with you arms, you can gently pull their fingers towards. This instantly releases a lot of pressure and tension from their body and they let themselves go.

Now you can move downwards towards their buttocks, legs and feet and follow the same motion of kneading them down. A slight brush/body contact with hem arouses the feeling.

Now moving to the front, massage your partner’s chest. Both men and women prefer their nipples and chest to be touched and given a circular motion touch. Slight teasing of the nipples also heightens the sensual feeling. At this time, I have noticed that most would give out a soft moan and they become very supple. If they do this, you know that they are ready for it. Now you are ready to work at the most sensual part of their body.

Genital Massage

Genital massage can be given at any point of the sensual massage. It’s not always necessary to go through the entire massage as we have written about. Bear in mind that the goal of the massage is to make your partner feel good. At this time if you or your partner experiences orgasm, then that’s wonderful. Many however like to delay their orgasm, as they feel that it works best for them.

Ladies are very responsive, if you are doing the massage the right way, you will intuitively feel it in the way that their body responds to your massage. Start slowly and gently runs your fingers around the outside of her vagina. Moving slowly brush her vulva and labia. Tease her and gently even pull at her. Pay very keen attention to what she wants. Often she will tell you or lead you to touch her. She would most likely even tell you to touch her clitoris and her G-spot. Vibrators can also add another dimension and may be used, if the need and desire may be so.

Men like their genital massage too. Brush your hands against their penis. A bit of lubrication should be placed like Astroglide or I-D Personal lubricant and gently rub the penis and the scrotum area. Men enjoy long and slow strokes to the penis. However, be careful not to squeeze the penis too hard or they will experience pain rather than pleasure. Its important to measure their reaction and this will lead you on to the rest of the massage. Listen to what your partner has to say and feels. Massage accordingly, and your efforts will surely be rewarded.

Afterwards

Orgasm can be experienced during sensual massage. Sensual massage can lead to sex or may be a goal in itself. Whatever you and your partner are willing to do is the main point here. Remember that after giving a sensual massage, its important to have some intimate time together. Sensual massage can then lead to a rewarding relationship-building experience for both the partners.